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Yoga

I Have a Crush on Someone in My Yoga Class and I Can't Focus on a Single Pose

plz_help_lol·

Namaste? More like nama-STAY away from me before I fall over during tree pose again because you smiled at me.

I've been doing yoga for about two years. It's my thing. I love it. I'm not amazing at it but I can hold a warrior II without shaking and my crow pose is coming along and I genuinely enjoy the meditation parts. Or I DID. Before this person showed up to my Tuesday/Thursday evening class about two months ago.

The Problem

They set up their mat one row ahead of me and slightly to the right. Which means during any pose where I'm facing forward, they're in my direct line of sight. And listen. I'm supposed to be focused on my breath. I'm supposed to be present. I'm supposed to be connecting mind and body or whatever. But my mind is connecting to THEM and my body is falling over.

Last week during half moon pose I was supposed to be looking at my raised hand. I was looking at them doing the most effortless half moon I've ever seen. I toppled. In a quiet room. Where everyone could hear me thud. The instructor said "it's ok, everyone falls sometimes" and I wanted to PERISH.

Things That Have Happened

The mat incident. I got to class early to get a good spot (read: a spot where I could see them but not TOO obviously) and they walked in late and the only open spot was RIGHT NEXT TO ME. I panicked and moved my water bottle to the wrong side and knocked it over during downward dog and water went everywhere and they helped me clean it up and our hands touched and I am not being dramatic when I say I felt it for the rest of the week.

The partner stretch. The instructor occasionally does partner exercises. OCCASIONALLY. But of course on the ONE DAY the person is next to me, the instructor says "turn to your neighbor." We did a seated twist assist thing where they put their hand on my back and I have genuinely never been less relaxed in a yoga class. My spine was so tense from trying to act normal that the stretch probably did nothing.

Savasana. This is the final resting pose where you lie there with your eyes closed. It's supposed to be the most peaceful part of class. I spend the entire time hyperaware that this person is lying three feet away from me also with their eyes closed. Peaceful? PEACEFUL? I am the opposite of peaceful.

The After-Class Window

There's this brief window after class where everyone's rolling up their mats and putting on shoes and there's casual chatter. This is theoretically when I could say something. Introduce myself. Make small talk. "Great class, right?" Normal human things.

Instead I roll up my mat at the speed of light and practically sprint to my car. Every single time. I am a coward wrapped in yoga pants.

One time they said "see you Thursday!" to me as I was leaving and I said "YEP" and didn't slow down. See you Thursday? That's friendly! That's an opening! And I said "YEP" like a malfunctioning robot and left.

Why Yoga Makes It Worse

The gym crush thing is one thing right. At the gym you're wearing normal workout clothes and doing normal exercises and the atmosphere is loud and anonymous.

Yoga is QUIET. Yoga is INTIMATE. Everyone is in tight stretchy clothes doing flexible things in a room with dim lighting and calm music. It's basically designed to make crushes worse. The instructor keeps saying things like "open your heart" and "breathe into the space" and I'm like yes I would LOVE to open my heart TO THAT PERSON but that seems outside the scope of this class.

Also yoga people are just... nice? Everyone in my class is friendly and warm and the whole environment is so welcoming that it makes me even MORE scared to mess it up by being the weird person who hits on people during savasana.

My Yoga Has Objectively Gotten Worse

I used to be improving. Steady progress. Now I'm regressing. I can't hold balancing poses because I'm distracted. I can't focus during meditation because my brain is just screaming. My flexibility has probably gotten worse because I'm so tense in class from trying to act normal.

My instructor pulled me aside last week and asked if everything was ok because I "seemed distracted lately." I said I had a lot going on at work. I do not have a lot going on at work. I have a lot going on on the mat to my right.

The Advice I've Gotten

"Just talk to them after class" — I KNOW. I KNOW THIS. KNOWING AND DOING ARE DIFFERENT THINGS.

"Move to a different class" — Absolutely not. I've been going to this class for two years. They're the new one. Also this defeats the purpose because the purpose is that I WANT to see them.

"Write a note" — In a yoga studio? Leave a note on someone's mat? "Hey I think about you during every savasana" ??? No.

"Just be yourself" — Myself is a person who says "YEP" and runs away so I don't think that strategy is working.

The Real Question

Is there a non-weird way to connect with someone in a yoga class? Like actually? Because the environment is so zen and peaceful and intentional that any kind of romantic approach feels like it violates the sacred space. You can't hit on someone in a room that smells like lavender and has singing bowls. It feels illegal.

But also people DO meet in yoga classes right? It happens? Please tell me it happens. Please tell me that someone reading this met their person in a yoga class and it wasn't awkward and the universe aligned and their chakras are balanced and they live happily ever after.

Because I'm running out of classes to fall over in before they start to think I just have a medical condition.

My Current Plan

I don't have one. That's why I'm writing this. My current plan is "continue attending yoga class, continue making eye contact, continue being unable to speak, continue falling during balance poses." This plan is not working.

If anyone has successfully gone from yoga class crush to actual relationship I need your playbook. Step by step. Assume I have the social skills of a houseplant.

Namaste or whatever.

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