I'm in My Gym Breakup Playlist Era and It's Unhinged

It's been three weeks since Marcus and I ended things and I have never been stronger or more emotionally unstable in my life.

My gym playlist currently looks like this:

Olivia Rodrigo — "good 4 u" (warm-up)
Demi Lovato — "Sorry Not Sorry" (squats)
Alanis Morissette — "You Oughta Know" (deadlifts)
Taylor Swift — "All Too Well (10 min version)" (cardio, obviously)
Beyoncé — "Ring the Alarm" (hip thrusts)
Adele — "Set Fire to the Rain" (cool-down/cry)

I call it "Rage to Sob: A Journey in Six Songs."

The Five Stages of Gym Grief

Denial: Still doing the couples workout split we planned together. Except now I'm doing both halves. In one session. It's fine. I'm fine.

Anger: Hit a deadlift PR fueled entirely by the memory of him saying "I just think we want different things" while wearing the hoodie I BOUGHT HIM. Pulled 275 like it owed me money.

Bargaining: Maybe if I get insanely jacked he'll see my Instagram story and realize what he lost? This is healthy reasoning and I will not be taking questions.

Depression: Cried in the stretching area. Told the concerned woman next to me it was a hip flexor thing. She didn't believe me. She offered me a tissue and a protein bar. I love her.

Acceptance: Currently here-ish. I've accepted that the gym is mine now. Not ours. MINE. He can find another LA Fitness. There are literally hundreds of them.

The Unexpected Upside

Here's the thing nobody tells you about post-breakup gym life: it actually works. Not the "revenge body" nonsense — I mean the mental health part. There's something about picking up heavy things and putting them down that makes your brain go, "OK, we're doing something. We're not just lying in bed replaying every conversation trying to figure out where it went wrong."

The endorphins are doing about 60% of my therapy's job right now. My actual therapist said that. She's great.

I've also accidentally made friends? Turns out when you're at the gym at 6 AM with mascara-smudged eyes and a thousand-yard stare, people check on you. And then you start talking. And then suddenly you have a gym crew that didn't exist three weeks ago.

The breakup playlist era is temporary. The gains are forever.

Related: How Lifting Fixed My Confidence After a Breakup — honestly wish I'd read this on day one.

DeadliftTherapy is 27, recently single, and has added 40 lbs to her deadlift since the breakup. She does not recommend crying during hip thrusts but admits it's an incredible glute activator.