I'm Dating a Runner and I Wasn't Prepared for Any of This

Let me paint you a picture.

It's 4:45 AM on a Saturday. A SATURDAY. The alarm goes off and my partner — who I love very much and am choosing not to strangle — bounces out of bed like it's Christmas morning. Because they have a "long run." Sixteen miles. For fun. On a day off.

I have been dating a runner for eight months now and I have learned things about myself, about relationships, and about the sheer volume of running shoes one person can own.

The Shoes

I need to start here because this was my first warning sign and I ignored it. When I first went to their apartment there were running shoes EVERYWHERE. By the door. Under the bed. In the closet. A pair in the car. Different shoes for different types of runs apparently. Trail shoes. Road shoes. Race shoes. "Easy day" shoes.

I made the mistake of asking "why do you need so many?" and received a 20-minute explanation about cushioning and drop and pronation and I just nodded and smiled and accepted that I'm dating someone who has a deeper relationship with foam midsoles than most people have with other humans.

The Schedule

Runners have schedules. Not like "I try to work out a few times a week" schedules. Like COLOR-CODED, PLANNED-MONTHS-IN-ADVANCE schedules. My partner has their runs planned through August. It's April. They know what they're doing on a random Tuesday in August. I don't know what I'm having for dinner tonight.

This means date planning revolves around the training schedule. "Can we do dinner Saturday?" "Yeah but I need to be done by 8 because I have 18 miles Sunday morning." Everything is filtered through the run calendar. Want to go on vacation? Better check if it conflicts with a race. Want to stay out late? Not on a night before a speed workout.

At first this annoyed me. Now I kind of respect it honestly. There's something attractive about someone who's that committed to something. Even if that something involves voluntarily running until your toenails fall off.

The Eating

Runners eat a LOT. And they eat weird things at weird times. My partner will eat a bowl of plain pasta at 9 PM because they need to "carb load" for tomorrow. They carry little gel packets in their pockets that look like condiment packets from a dystopian future. They once ate six bananas in a single day and when I expressed concern they said "potassium" like that explained everything.

Restaurant dates are easy though because they'll eat anything and everything. The appetite of someone who runs 50+ miles a week is genuinely impressive. We went to an all-you-can-eat brunch once and I think they made a profit.

The Laundry Situation

So. Much. Laundry. Running clothes every single day, sometimes twice a day. The smell situation is... look, I love this person, but running clothes that have been sitting in a gym bag for even a few hours develop their own ecosystem. We had to get a separate hamper. With a lid. A TIGHT lid.

The Good Stuff (Because It's Not All Complaints)

Ok I've been complaining but here's the thing — dating a runner is actually kind of amazing in ways I didn't expect.

They're patient. Running teaches you to suffer through hard things. This translates to relationships. When we have disagreements, they don't bail. They work through it. Like they're running a hill. Just keep going.

They're reliable. Someone who gets up at 4:45 AM when they don't have to? Who follows a plan for months? That's a person who shows up. And they show up for me too. Every time.

They handle stress really well. Bad day at work? They go for a run and come back a completely different person. I've never seen anyone process emotions as efficiently as a runner doing an "angry 10K."

The physical shape. I mean. Yeah. Not going to elaborate but. Yeah.

They've introduced me to a whole community. I've started going to their races as a spectator and it's honestly so fun? People are cheering and there are signs and everyone's supporting each other and I've cried at a finish line more than once. Watching someone you love achieve something they've worked months for hits different.

The Races

Speaking of races. Let me tell you about being a spectator partner. There is a specific skill set required and I have developed it through trial and error.

You need to know where to stand. You need to know when they'll come by (they will tell you their expected pace per mile and the mile markers and you need to do MATH). You need to make a sign but not a cheesy sign because they will be embarrassed but also secretly happy. You need to have snacks ready at the finish. You need to not complain about standing outside for four hours.

My first race as a spectator I went to the wrong spot and missed them entirely and they were more upset about that than about their actual race time. Lesson learned. I now have a whole spectating strategy.

Things I've Had to Accept

Some weekends they won't be fully available until after the long run. That's just life now.
They will talk about running. A lot. I've learned to find it endearing instead of repetitive.
Their body will hurt sometimes. Knees, ankles, hips. I've become surprisingly good at foam rolling someone else's IT band.
They will sign up for more races. Always more races. There's always another one. The race calendar never ends.
Vacation planning includes scouting running routes at the destination. Every hotel is evaluated by proximity to good running paths.

The Thing Nobody Tells You

The biggest surprise about dating a runner? You might start running too.

I swore I wouldn't. I'm not a runner. I go to the gym, I lift, I do my thing. Running is their activity. But one Sunday morning they asked if I wanted to come along for an "easy jog" and I said sure and now I run three days a week and I own two pairs of running shoes and I have a 5K next month.

How did this happen. Who am I.

Would I Recommend It?

Absolutely. 100%. Date a runner if you get the chance. Just know what you're getting into. It's not a casual hobby for most of them — it's a lifestyle, an identity, a borderline obsession. But it's also passion and dedication and discipline and those things spill over into how they treat you.

Plus the finish line kisses are pretty great not gonna lie.

Eight months in and I'm happier than I've ever been. Even at 4:45 AM on a Saturday. Well. Maybe not at exactly 4:45. But by 5 AM when I've gone back to sleep and the apartment is quiet? Yeah. Even then.

Related Reading:

Dating a Runner: 15 Things You Should Know — More practical advice for the runner-dating journey
25 Active First Date Ideas to Break the Ice — If your runner wants an active first date (they will)